Some people bake a ham...

Saturday before Easter, Sister and I got together in my kitchen and made holiday-themed cupcakes.  Admittedly, it was a bit late in the day to take on lambs and chicks, but I've seen her whip up a batch of fried pie dough in less than ten minutes so I am fully aware of what she's capable of creating when pushed for time.

THIS is what the lamb cupcakes look like if you start early and have all the right decorating ingredients...  Cute, huh?

This is what lamb cupcakes look like if you don't!!  I think if we'd maybe been drinking they would have been so much cuter.

You can bet I'll put wine on the shopping list next time.  And, now that we know what NOT to do, next year will be soooo much easier, right?  (Here I am assuming that we won't find anything even more creative to do by then.  What a sorry lack of faith!!)

I'll admit, the whole idea was mine.  And I'll even go so far as to say that, usually, the things that we end up doing that seem scatterbrained and far-fetched and ridiculous considering the resources we have are most often things I've suggested.  In my own defense, I always have pictures of what the end product needs to look like!!  In this case, I had actually even made the chick cupcakes all by myself a few Easters ago.  So I brought experience to the party.

I am a firm believer in taking the easy route whenever possible, so I had two boxes of ready-made cake mix and several tubs of ready-made frosting.  I suspect that my pictures came with recipes for a reason, at least where the frosting was concerned, as ours ended up a bit too soft for the project.

Live and learn.

We doubled the cake recipe so things would go faster and poured the entire batter into a large zip lock.  Snip one corner of the bag and the cups will fill quickly and with little mess!  The first shortage came when we filled the tins; I only had two and we really needed at least four.  Again, live and learn!!  Another shortcut that really helped was putting all the decorations out in small bowls to make them easy to see and to reach.  We separated by color and type.

I shopped several places in town looking for ready-made candy eyes for our sheep but nobody seems to stock them.  Michael's online shows them in the stores, but they are not.  Wal-Mart in Addison has a huge Wilton section, but no eyes!!  I could have spent the rest of the day looking for a "specialty" store that might have them, but I had other things to do, so we improvised and made them from mini-marshmallows and licorice bits.  Way too much cutting and snipping and placing and sticking to our fingers!!!  If ever we attempt lamb cupcakes again (or any other animal that requires eyes) I'll purchase them online well ahead of baking day.   Meanwhile,  the chick cupcakes require toasted coconut, so we took advantage of the warm oven to get that part done ahead as well.

Finally, we sat down to frost and assemble.  And quickly realized that, (1) it was way too late to be frosting and decorating cupcakes that required 35 mini-marshmallows, and (2), we were way too tired to really care all that much what something that was likely going to be eaten anyway looked like!!

Thankfully, the chicks ended up going really fast and looking really cute.

***SIGH***

The "F" word

Technically, Texas is located "in the South."  And in case you're not familiar with what goes on "in the South" or maybe you just think we make this stuff up to be considered interesting, EVERYTHING under the sun can be and probably has been fried, "in the South."  We fry our bacon (pork, not turkey), bologna, potatoes, fish, bread, broccoli, Mars bars, grits, and butter; the list is really quite long and covers pretty much anything edible.  Any child raised "in the South" has, at one time or another, consumed three meals in one day consisting entirely of fried food.  So imagine our dismay at the announcement that fried food isn't really all that good for you.  Rest assured there are some who changed doctors, repeatedly, to avoid giving up fried food.  Those health nuts were messin' with tradition!! 

However, while most of us have altered our diets to decrease, if not entirely eliminate, fried food, the one food that can't possibly be improved upon by preparing them any other way is our pies.  And it is quite possible that my sister makes the absolute tastiest fried pies in all the land!  Now, don't go thinking I'm about to put the crust recipe up here.  For one, I'm not sure how they do it in other parts of the country but "in the South" you have to be born into the family to ever get access to such a secret.  And two, having tried and failed miserably to cook those things for which my sister is famous, I'm just saving all y'all from being disappointed in your own sorry attempts at greatness.  Better to let Sister pick and choose her own apprentice in due time. 

Years of practice led Sister to her current fried pie recipe which she can double, triple, or halve, depending on whether they're being eaten by family, eaten at church, or sold in a raffle.  A platter of well-made fried pies can result in triple-digit bid wars at auction!!  And if you want to encourage a preacher to use the "short sermon" come Sunday, just tell him there's peach, cherry, and apple fried pies for the supper on the ground.

We've tested the competition and have discovered some interesting twists on the idea of what the innards of a fried pie can be.  Out at Canton there's a group of ladies who make a tasty pie (up for consideration as an ugly cousin, but certainly no real match to Sister).  From them we learned that pecan filling works really well.  And down toward Gruene there's a pie maker inside a Shell station that offered breakfast and lunch varieties.  I sampled the breakfast pie with eggs and bacon...  a bit runny and a whole lot salty; I'm pretty sure I know a woman who can make vast improvements on that!  Thus, and with no real surprise, the competition has been found lacking.  There is, after all, only one Sister!!

As yet, Sister hasn't ventured into the abyss of breakfast, lunch, and dinner pies; certainly that remains a possibility.  For now, fruit pies are her specialty.  Oh, and pecan.  Those sweet ladies in the bonnets at Canton are on to something good!!  So, after measuring and mixing her special crust recipe, Sister turns it out on a floured surface, in this case her ages-old Tupperware non-stick rolling sheet with the finished pie crust dimensions nicely measured and marked on it, and works the dough.  "You don't have to work it to death, but if you do it will come out really crispy.  I just like mine with a little chew to it."

Sister has a two-foot-long skinny rolling pin just right for rolling out pie crusts and biscuits, and for beatin' a stubbornly frozen bag of Sonic ice into submission.  With it she makes short work of turning plum-sized balls of fried pie dough into tortilla-sized flat circles ready to be filled with, in this case, Smucker's apricot jam (a Yankee company, but they do make really good jelly and jam) and Paula Deen's (a Southern girl all the way down to her "y'all") pecan filling.  The pies are then folded, sealed with the tines of a fork, and dropped into a deep pan of hot peanut oil.  

There's only enough room for two or three pies to cook properly (if you've made them big enough) so don't overcrowd the pot.  And since the filling is already cooked, all you're doing is browning up the crust and getting it crispy.  The pies will float to the top and need to be turned (just like frying a mess of crappie!!) to make sure both sides get that beautiful golden brown.  Then they'll need to drain for a few minutes since you don't want greasy pies (or clogged arteries).  By the time they're ready, you should have a goodly-sized crowd of family members who've already napkined their necks and seated themselves at the table.  All that remains is to sit down and join 'em!!

Paul Deen's Pecan Pie Pockets (http://www.pauladeenmagazine.com)

Ingredients

1. 1 cup sugar
2. 2/3 cup light corn syrup
3. 1/3 cup butter, melted
4. 2 large eggs
5. 1 1/2 cups chopped pecans
6. 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
7. 1/8 teaspoon salt
8. 1 1/2 (15-ounce) boxes refrigerated pie crusts
9. 1 egg yolk, beaten
10. Vegetable oil for frying
11. Confectioners’ sugar (optional)

Instructions

1. In a medium saucepan, combine sugar, corn syrup, melted butter, and eggs. Stir in pecans, vanilla, and salt. Bring to a boil over medium heat, reduce heat, and simmer 10 minutes.
2. On a lightly floured surface, unroll 1 pie crust. Cut out rounds, using a 4 1/2-inch cutter. Re-roll dough as needed. Repeat procedure with remaining piecrusts.
3. Place 1 piecrust round on a clean, flat surface. Lightly brush edges of crust with beaten egg yolk. Place 1 heaping tablespoon of pecan mixture in center of the round. Fold dough over filling, pressing edges with a fork to seal. Repeat with remaining rounds and pecan mixture.
4. In a Dutch oven or deep fryer, heat oil over medium heat to 350F. Fry pies, in batches, 1 to 2 minutes per side, or until lightly browned. Drain on paper towels. Lightly dust with confectioners’ sugar, if desired.